Photobucketchanges,out the door -Den & Happy Mothers' Day


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changes,out the door -Den & Happy Mothers' Day
05.10.08 (9:28 am)   [edit]
Today the kids and I have a birthday for a relative on there dads' side of the family. Oh what fun this should be. The only reason I am attending is because Dennis' aunt Jo asked me to go. I love her she's only 7 years older than me and she really loves Dennis and I and my kids. His parents and brother are mean and nasty but his Aunt Jo loves us and has a kind, generous heart so how could I say no? Well I did lol but she insists that I go for awhile. She did invite Dennis' mom and brother hopefully they will not show. She is really mean and bitter and doesn't even talk to the kids (her own grandkids) or I. Derrick's school called me Thursday they are very concerned about him, his appearance has changed, he lied to a teacher, left class, is not eating, did not do a 2nd ET (essential task) for his Honors ELA class and this is all HUGE - not like Derrick at all. He also has given up playing his violin and did not go to his Spring Concert! His guidance counselor (Deb) was so concerened when she called me and told me all this that she asked if I would mind letting their school social worker Larry "assess" my son. He's a Crisis mental health worker as well at Ellis Hospital. She promised to call me Friday after Larry talked with Derrick and let me know if I needed to bring him to Ellis for a full pscy. evaluation. I wait home all day - NO PHONE call from Deb! I called her and her secretary said "can I tell her who's calling please" I say sure Kathy Warren and she puts me on hold for 2 minutes, comes back and said "Deb is busy at the moment would you like her voicemail" no I would not! I called Derricks' private therapist Dana she will see him first thing on Tuesday but if I have any big concerns to call her anytime she's on call for crisis all weekend. Kayla is back to talking about killing herself. It's been a horrible week! Really tough. Dennis is not supportive at all. We will not make it through this there is too much hurt and anger between us. I am just doing what is best for Kayla (placing her in Hamptonburgh House for a year) and Dennis can't get over his own guilt and anger and he threatens me that "if you place your daughter for a year, I will be gone!" oh well I finally give up trying to talk, reason and get him to LISTEN to me about what is best for Kayla, not me or Dennis but what is best for Kayla? Listen sometimes when life is spinning out of control and you just can't stop it I believe you have to put a positive face on and say well I've tried everything I possibly can to help my daughter, it's not enough at this point. I can not live with this guilt so let it go. She is only going 90 minutes away from here. Yes it's for 1 year but she will be learning skills for life and living with 6 other girls who have the same problems as her all these girls have severe mental health illnesses just like Kayla. Hamptonburgh House is the answer to what's best for Kayla? Maybe now I can focus on Derrick and his depression and my beautiful little Keely who is only 6 and cries all the time and seems very insecure and sad all the time. The poor kid who can blame her? Life is difficult here right now and I can barely get through it and I'm an adult so how can Keely deal with this at the age of 6? Happy Mothers' Day to all the moms' out there. I am so thankful to God that I have the most loving, caring and supportive mom/grandma to my kids out there. I love you mom and thank God for you and Dad everyday!
 
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